Responsibility Should Be Taught, Not Just Expected

A few weeks ago, one of my son’s sixth grade teachers asked me if my college professor’s remind me when I have an assignment due or if I am over due. I was caught a little off guard and I replied “No. I don’t turn in late assignments.” I think her point was that they shouldn’t have to tell me when my son misses an assignment.

Teachers are so big on kids accepting personal responsibility and being treated like adults. The problem is, they often don’t always make the best, most adult choices either. And is the need to make kids more responsible really for the kids benefit or is it to ease the burden on teachers.

Regardless, I did give the teacher’s question some serious thought and I came to a few conclusions. The first is that it is comparing apples and oranges. I am a forty something unemployed student with a family to feed. I’ve been out in the real world and I’ve seen the value of an education. I’ve seen employers turn down me and my 20 years of experience because I don’t hold an actual college degree.

My son on the other hand is an 11-year-old boy who doesn’t have a family to support and doesn’t need to hold down a job at this point in his life. School is his job. I’ve had plenty of years to learn how to be responsible. He has only had 11 and I’m not sure you can count the baby and toddler years.

The next thing I discovered was that my teacher’s actually DO remind students of due dates. Students follow a syllabus. We have a set schedule and on the day’s an assignment is due, we get a reminder. At times, as was the case this week, the professor will send out an extra e-mail reminder. I can also go to my professors and request additional time to complete an assignment.

My son isn’t given a syllabus to follow. The day goes as needed for the teachers and students. Yes they may have something they plan to talk about, but they don’t always stick to this plan. Any reminders they get about assignments are verbal reminders. I never learn he’s missed an assignment until report card time when it’s too late to do anything about it.

The final difference is that my professors take advantage of technology. Everything I need for class is accessible online. I even learn my grades online and usually in a timely manner. Each assignment is also detailed online so I know exactly what I need to do. At my son’s school, they also have a program that can tell parents about assignments and grades. The problem is many of the teachers don’t use them. It is too hard or they don’t have time.

So I thank my son’s teacher for making me think and for reminding me that there are many differences between my education and my sons. I wish teachers today took half the time gradually preparing my son for college instead of taking the easy way and expecting a kid to perform better than adults.